I used to think that everything in the world is surmountable. It still is if you believe in yourself. True, but is it all words and no actions? People say action speaks louder than words for a reason. Then, it brought to my attention that some say the pen is mightier than the sword. What it means is that words and communication are more deadly than any force for instance, a fight or a war. So shouldn't it be just sheer words that influence the people's mind to compel them to do of what's required of them?. A minute to ponder. Which then brings us back to the previous phrase of 'action speaks louder than words', both are related in terms of the words,not literally, and of the action being taken place. Yet again, it's just my thought and you may ignore it if you want to.


But somehow I can't get those words through this thick skull of mine. I admit. I'm stubborn headed. I have no one but myself to blame. Each time, I will relentlessly tell myself that I have to but it seems that my own words have fallen to my very own deaf ears. It's the attitude. Or that is the least I could have came up with to comfort myself that I am indeed in control of myself. I too sometimes envy those who are well-disciplined, being able to manage and juggle their time and all but yet still be able to produce the desired results. Whereas me, let's say I do have the time but I squandered it all away somehow. I am beginning to feel the urge, the pressure and the anxiety now. I have to step up. I'm weary. Each night, I will just do a mini reflection. I will cast a shadow of myself. I will listen to the voice within the shadow, yearning to be heard. With each passing day, it wears thinner. Thinner and thinner as it goes, as though it is being skinned layers after layers. I don't even dare to say that I am even a small bit confident. As many would know, I love to spend the day on the bed just lazing. Little do they know on what's going through my mind. Lest do they even think that I am awake.





I miss being on the field, training with all my teammates. I remembered on how we would dread the moment we saw a Black Toyota SUV driving past the field because we know what comes next would be physical/fitness training after we were done with the current session that we were doing. It was like having double session by different coaches. We would think to ourselves that it was worse than army but somehow we enjoyed ever session of it. We pushed each other and worked as a unit. We even joked around with stuff which I won't mention. Most were inside jokes. I remembered i dreaded each time I had to play against Dilip. It was just so hard to get the ball of his feet. Oh, not to mention how he would encourage me. He is a respectable and a very good captain. I don't think this injury is hindering me or anything. It's all in the mind. Maybe I might go for trainings. Just maybe. But even so, first and foremost, I have to set my priorities right.